The sight of an engagement ring can bring on a ton of excitement and can make even the most well-meaning friends and family start asking touchy questions that a bride just isn't ready for yet! You can totally avoid these questions and leave a bride unoffended, but still stay excited about the engagement and wedding too! It is, after all, the most exciting time in a girl's life!
1. "Congratulations! Did you set a date yet?!"
This happens all. the. time. Most girls do not have a venue, date, photogrpaher or even a wedding pinterest board before they get asked the big question! We realize that you may be genuinely eager to hear about wedding plans but asking quesitons about their date, their DJ, what their dress looks like and how many poeple are in their bridal party can be 100% overwhelming for a new bride! Chances are she hasnt even thought about a DJ! If she looks at you with horror in her eyes, change the subject!
2. "I can't wait for the wedding!!!"
This comment is appropriate if you recieved a save-the-date or actual wedding invitation. However, things get really awkward when you say this to a bride and you're not even on the guest list. Sometimes brides do not have the budget to invite the office seretary and the mail man. Imagine having to break the news that someone isnt invited to your wedding... it's difficult. So let's all make the world of weddings a better place by never inviting yourself to the wedding.
3. "If your marriage is anything like mine..."
Let's get real. Does anyone else just hate comparisions? Pet peeve of mine! Everyone is different, every situation is not the same and we are all our own people! Everyone does things the way THEY think they should be done and that's totally fine! Just because a bride's fiance's funny jokes turned annoying after they got married doesnt mean that will happen to the next bride! Try to stay positive about their upcoming marraige! Constructive advice is, however, always great. No, the honeymoon period will not last forever, but let's give them hope that it will! Assuming all marriages will be like yours isn't realistic.
4. "Are you sure you want to get married?"
Well, she did say YES. Maybe they only dated for a couple of months... but when you know that she's/he's the one, than there's no more to talk about. Put a ring on it and lets get the ball rolling! The last thing a new bride needs after getting engaged is a little discouragement from the outsiders. Unless you're a close family member or friend with legit conerns, this just sounds judgemental.
5. "You should have a church wedding."
Ok. Say hello to the opinion of most people. Church weddings are gorgeous, timeless and always classy. However, it's not every brides cup of tea. Some brides want to get married in a meadow. Some on a grassy lawn. To each their own! Remove 'you should' and 'why are you not' from your conversatiosn with brides! They'll love you forever!
*I hope you're still with me at this point! I'm just getting started!*
6. "What time does the wedding start?"
The brides response should be, "Did you not get the save-the-date, invitation in the mail and the link to our wedding website?" Our hearts really do go out to brides who are planning the biggest day of their entire lives. Try to answer easy questions like this for yourself before asking the bride! It might make her feel like her efforts haven't been good enough! If you honestly and truly cannot remember the time of the wedding, lost the invitation and URL, then email or text the bride, BUT NOT THE WEEK OF THE WEDDING!
7. "What's your budget? How much are you saving for a house?"
NOPE. NEVER. DONT EVEN. Most brides have a pretty good head on their shoulders. Let them budget the way they want to! You might have some really great advice, but you just have to really rememeber that this is not your wedding day. While your intentions may be to help a bride, your questions may come across as nosey, annoying and insulting.
8. "Can I bring my kids?"
Typically, the invitation envelope will say who is invited. If it says 'Mr. and Mrs. Fannypack' then that's that. If it says 'The Fannypack Family' then everyone under the roof is invited. Bring your dog too (Not really...). There's typically a lot of consideration made when families are asked to leave their children at home, and the decision is not an easy one. You just have to trust the Bride and Groom on this one. Maybe they'll be offering an open bar, or explicit lyrics during the reception or they're just wanting a classy event where you don't thave to worry about the care of your child! Simple enough. Trust the Bride and Groom.
9. "Why aren't you inviting *insert family members name*?"
Some brides do not invite their dads. Some brides do not invite their moms. Some dont invite cousins, grandma, or Uncle Teddy. No matter how curious you might be as to why they arent invited, it's hurtful for the bride to have to explain herself. Most brides would probably want to snap and say "BECAUSE I'M NOT. DEAL WITH IT." If you find out that a bride isnt inviting a close relative, pause before asking why.
*FINAL ONE! YAY!!! IF you've stuck with me for is long, you deserve a Starbucks or something festive like that...*
10. "IT'S TIME TO START THINKING ABOUT KIDS!!!"
If you are a new bride, get ready for this one. It will quickly become the most annoying 7 word phrase you will ever hear. Apart from it being a fun little joke and conversation starter, for some brides who may be having fertility issues it may seem invasive. No one ever says this to be mean, but when you see a bride and groom after a wedding, focus more on the honeymoon trip and how much they're loving the married life!
Whew! This was OUR "Top 10 DONT'S" when it comes to wedding conversation with a Bride and Groom. This will keep you out of the dog house and on the guest list! Remember that this is the most exciting time for the bride and groom, and they want to share all the crazy fun with you!
We are so excited for tomorrow's blog! You will get to read about "Photographers on the Wedding Day"! This will be everything from what your photog should be wearing to how long they should stay at your wedding! It's going to be a good one!